[It's been about a week since Jack last checked in. Despite a restless sort of urging to call the girl about half a dozen times, he's backed off. It's weird to call a sixteen year old girl every day, when she's just an employee. In the loosest sense. But people might get the wrong idea.]
[But he can only hold off so long. He's used to having thousands of people at his beck and call, and being in constant communication with his right hand girl.]
[He should have called more often; she's been waiting all week wondering when he'd call, should she call, would she sound too clingy and desperate calling every day, did she learn anything good that'd give her an excuse to call. The moment she sees his face, she jumps right in to a barrage of schoolyard gossip.]
Hey there, Handsome! [Bet he's heard that one before] I got a plan for that horse thing, but put that aside-- guess what, guess what? My rabbit thing evolved!! And now she's less rabbit and more long but- look at her!
[Mafuyu drags her Sentret-now-Furret into the screen, the length of its body nearly as long as she is tall, but just as easily skittish as the moment her grip loosens, off the Pokemon goes. Her cutest Pokemon. She's been dying to show it off and expects praise.]
I was gonna show you when it happened, but it went flash! boom! so fast!! You missed out, you should've been there! Why don'tcha travel with me, I can show you all sorts of stuff?!
You got a plan, do you? Care to share? I mean as long as it ends with me getting a shiny new flammable pony, I really don't care what you do, but... call me curious.
[Oh yes. Her team of stupidly cute Pokemon. He's heard a lot about the way evolution works on this planet - which urther convinces him that nothing here is native or natural, but all the result of genetic tampering - but he hasn't witnessed it for himself. He's been expecting a huge, dramatic change. That?]
So...it got longer and bigger? Is that it? Not exactly impressive, you know. Hell, I do the same thing when I...oh... never mind.
[Sixteen year old teenage girl you kind of need at the moment, Jack, don't make hard-on jokes to her.]
Kiddo, I don't have to travel with you to see stuff. You can send me pictures and video. You see something you think I should see, just show me. I've got too much to do here, too many things to keep an eye on. That's why I've got you! You're my eyes and ears in the field. And...Pokeballs. Which, by the way, is the worst thing you could call these for mass marketing. Am I the only one who sees this? Pokeballs? It sounds filthy!
Anyway, when I'm ready for a road trip, I'll tell you.
Yeah, but they're sort of... ball shaped. [Balls are originally things you bounce around and throw at people, why did adults have to corrupt these innocent childhood playthings??]
But never mind that! The horse. It's a work in progress plan, so it'll be a while, but it's definitely going to happen! I made a deal with this guy Dave, see? And he's going to help me out. It'll happen. It's just going to take some time.
[These words are said with conviction, not at all like some poor sap being extorted for money and begging for another 24 hours, they'll get the money, they swear, please don't hurt their family. But she doesn't really want to go into the full details of the plan either, because the time it takes involves getting somewhere, scrounging up enough cash, keeping an egg warm, and rearing the Pokemon from birth. Who knows when it'll happen, but Dave said it'll happen, and she believes in him.]
Serious question though: what do you think about goats?
So call them Capture Spheres or Containment Orbs. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love a good filthy joke as much as the next guy. But not in product naming, that's just sloppy business practice. You got to think marketability! Who's gonna be buying? You want classy, smart people buying your products. So you need classy, smart product names. Why doesn't anyone understand this?
[Huh. That's not exactly promising. Now there's some Dave guy involved....wait. Dave. Was that the kid on the net that went back and forth with him about robots? Funny guy. Okay. He'll keep an eye on how this develops.]
So now Dave is getting the horse? Delegation, okay, I can't really fault you for that... But you gotta be careful, kiddo. Delegating to trusted underlings can be a fun and stress free solution to actually doing physical work, but putting your trust in 'this guy Dave' can lead to major screwage.
[And now she wants to talk about goats. What the hell goes on in this kid's head?]
They taste pretty good in curry when they're little? I don't know, I don't spend much time thinking about goats.
[The target market is ten-year-old children, Jack...]
No way! Fancy brand names just make things more expensive! I've gotta be able to buy these things in bulk, you know! Like cup noodles and stuff, if I'm paying extra, it's got to have something worth it inside, like dried shrimp, or extra chicken!
[You don't understand what it's like to live a life of poverty!! Mafuyu shakes her head.]
But forget about that. Forget about Dave too. He's my friend, and in a better position than me to get one right now, so I'm trusting it to him. He hasn't asked anything from me yet. Anyways-- goats. I was wondering maybe you can ride one of these.
[It's a Skiddo. Not a Pokemon she had on hand before, and not a Pokemon she caught herself either. Also not a Pokemon you can ride on as it barely comes past the knees.]
When it gets bigger, anyways. I got a buncha Pokemon transferred to me a few days ago, but I don't think I can use 'em.
Ah, ah, ah.... Mafuyu, what are friends? Remember? We talked about this, babe. Friends are...say it with me. Friends are just people close enough to screw you over the worst! Don't ever forget that.
[Ride it? No, he'd really rather hand it over to his chef. It even came with its own garnish! But he holds up a finger and accesses the 'dex. There's the stupid looking thing. It's like it jumped right out of a kiddie picture book about an enchanted forest. But it's evolution....]
[Could be worse.]
Theoretically, yes, the evolved form of that thing can be ridden. But it's not a horse. Or on fire. So I'm not sure why I'd want to...
The horns are pretty cool, but they're facing the wrong way to stab anything. But I bet I could get some horn tips made up, cool metal ones, loop'em around so they stick out in front... Yeah, there's some potential here.
Send'em to me! I got a nice house they can live in, little pokey friends for'em... Uncle Jack'll give'em a good home.
Friends are people close enough and everything, yeah, yeah, I know.
[She pats the Skiddo on the head, relaying parts of Jack's message to it ("he says you're cool"), but sending them over makes her frown a little. She promised him strong Pokemon. It didn't feel right throwing at him the ones she couldn't handle; she'd get them to listen to her, fight matches for her, be the best Pokemon they can be. She can't hand over anything less than that.]
That's where the problem is though. This Pokemon here's nice and calm because it's weak. But one of the others... well.
[She holds up a forearm for him to see, a short but deep gash down the length of it, held together by stitches given by the local Pokemon center. After releasing that Pokemon, Mafuyu never touched any of the others, leaving the rest in the PC.]
I heard you'll need badges to get the stronger ones to listen if you didn't catch 'em yourself. There's a badge place in Goldenrod, isn't there? 'course there is; everything's in Goldenrod. You'll need a badge before I can get you anything.
....You remember that I basically kill giant monsters as a hobby, right? But no, no, that's fine. Protect me from the big bad blue mice and purple magic kangaroos.
There's a Gym here in Goldenrod. But I need stronger Pokemon to beat the Gym leaders and get the badge I apparently need to get stronger Pokemon and holy nutballs this system is ludicrous!
[Who the hell implemented anything on this planet? What utter slag brained, stillborn, gibbering morons had put together this system?]
It's cute you're worried, it really is cupcake. But I can handle them just fine without some shiny trophy.
Well, it's different here! You're not killing them!!
[Like why would he even make that point, it doesn't mean anything to her. She's sure he can handle them, but Pokemon aren't like hoodlums you can beat up and they end up following you out of admiration for your strength-- Pokemon spit fire and uproot trees and crush bone and she's going to make this system work.]
I'm going to train them myself. I'm going to get badges. I'm going to make them listen to me, and you, and everyone. But I'm not giving you my Pokemon or anyone else's until you get badges. I don't wanna get to Goldenrod finally and find you dead 'cause of me.
[But it's no problem, because has no doubts he'll get the badge.] Boner can do it, I'm sure he can. How is he? Still cute?
You're such a stubborn little thing, pumpkin. Too much of that's not attractive, you read me? I can promise you, I am not going to be killed by a friggin' Pokemon. Not gonna happen.
He's still fat. I dunno what I'm doing wrong. He's on diet chow, I take him running with me but he just lies down for a nap ten minutes in, I dunno., I tried tying him to the back of my bike but he could not keep up so...so that didn't work.
[She huffs. Can't help being stubborn when she's trying to save her friends' lives!!] I'm plenty attractive. I'm the cute and adorable Mafuyu-chan, remember? [Fancy? She hasn't made progress with that one.]
You just gotta encourage him! Like "good boy!" and "lookin' good, Boner!" and "yeah! look at you runnin' five meters, I'm so proud of you!!" Pat him on the head or something. Praise him a lot, and he'll do anything for you!
[She has experience in this, you know? Just. Not on the trainer side of things.]
Don't huff at me, I'm trying to help you. Has anybody else here been better to you than me, huh? You know, you're pretty lucky. There aren't too many people in the universe that get personal advice from Handsome Jack himself. You're privileged. I've taken a special interest.
I encourage him plenty. It's more along the 'do this and I won't punish you' kind, but...same basic idea. I'm not coddling my attack animals.
Nn, people here are generally nice, it's kinda weird... I guess 'cause they don't know what I'm like, so they're nice?
[But it's true no one else has given her much thought like Jack does, just casual acquaintances or people she's met once and then left in her single-minded endeavor to reach Goldenrod.]
Have you been battling? It's more fun that running around going nowhere, and there's lots of opportunities for "good job"s there!
Sure, 'nice' is one way of putting it. I'd probably say terminally stupid, myself. What, you're hiding some deep dark secret? You holding out on me, cupcake?
No, not for Doom Boner there isn't. The badass flames were a lie. He sucks at battles. My cat thing's better. No wonder his owner wanted to get rid of him. That really should have been warning sign, in hindsight. I thought he'd beaten up the other ones, not just...sat on them.
I'm a normal girl!! Perfectly normal! There's nothing deep and dark about me at all!!
[End of discussion, she's not going to talk about this anymore, if she talks about it anymore then she'll probably slip up somewhere and this whole being normal thing she's been practicing all school year will all go to waste.]
Anyways... Have Cat battle some, and Boney can watch. He can learn by watching too, that's how I learned.
Ohoho...don't ever, ever play poker, kitten. You cannot bluff. At all. See, nobody denies anything like that unless there's actually something to deny.
You're talking to your old pal Jack here! Spill. What's your story? We'll talk training strategy after.
[She clamps her hands over her mouth, which, you know, doesn't do anything if she's going to continue speaking past them anyways.]
I'm not going to do it anymore, so it doesn't matter! The past is the past! I'm done with that life, and what matters is the here! and now!! Otherwise my mom'sgoingtokillme.
[Like, literally kill. With a meat cleaver. It almost happened once.]
Mafuyu. Deep breath, count to ten, that whole drill. You gotta relax. We're just having a friendly little chat here. About you. And your mysterious past. C'mon. I showed you mine.
Your mom's not even here. I am. And I'm not gonna kill you. How'd I get my stabby goat and my fire horse if I did that?
[She hates lying, and she's terrible at keeping secrets. But this is one thing she doesn't want anybody else to hear, whether it's someone illegally tapping into the phone lines or a stranger passing by and eavesdropping on their conversation.]
I'll tell you later! In person, okay? When we meet in person. [That way, if someone sneaks up on them to listen in, she can catch them and beat them until they can no longer walk or speak or spread the word.]
Kiddo, I'm not worried about whatever it is you gotta tell me.
How're the roads looking, anyway? One of the ones out of Goldenrod's been cleared, according to the rumor mill. And weren't there a couple of guys offering rides between towns last week or something? The public channel's filled with so much boring, pointless crap I...I start glazing over when I'm checking in.
[To be proud of an accomplishment at this level is sort of sad, but it's been WEEKS. And this close to cabin fever even in the great outdoors confined to half a route and a town with nothing but a few houses with a mom you aren't welcomed home by.]
There were flowers everywhere and I couldn't stop sneezing, it was terrible. The next route's a buncha trees and stuff all uprooted, so I've been trying to climb over them where the ground's not sunken in. If it's like this everywhere, I think it's better you get a plane, not a horse.
No planes, pumpkin. Bike or pokemon are the only options. There's Pokemon that fly, though, we should look into those. But hey, you're gonna be in great shape by the time you finally make it here!
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Video Call
[But he can only hold off so long. He's used to having thousands of people at his beck and call, and being in constant communication with his right hand girl.]
So sweetheart.
Where we standing on my fire horse?
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Hey there, Handsome! [Bet he's heard that one before] I got a plan for that horse thing, but put that aside-- guess what, guess what? My rabbit thing evolved!! And now she's less rabbit and more long but- look at her!
[Mafuyu drags her Sentret-now-Furret into the screen, the length of its body nearly as long as she is tall, but just as easily skittish as the moment her grip loosens, off the Pokemon goes. Her cutest Pokemon. She's been dying to show it off and expects praise.]
I was gonna show you when it happened, but it went flash! boom! so fast!! You missed out, you should've been there! Why don'tcha travel with me, I can show you all sorts of stuff?!
no subject
[Oh yes. Her team of stupidly cute Pokemon. He's heard a lot about the way evolution works on this planet - which urther convinces him that nothing here is native or natural, but all the result of genetic tampering - but he hasn't witnessed it for himself. He's been expecting a huge, dramatic change. That?]
So...it got longer and bigger? Is that it? Not exactly impressive, you know. Hell, I do the same thing when I...oh... never mind.
[Sixteen year old teenage girl you kind of need at the moment, Jack, don't make hard-on jokes to her.]
Kiddo, I don't have to travel with you to see stuff. You can send me pictures and video. You see something you think I should see, just show me. I've got too much to do here, too many things to keep an eye on. That's why I've got you! You're my eyes and ears in the field. And...Pokeballs. Which, by the way, is the worst thing you could call these for mass marketing. Am I the only one who sees this? Pokeballs? It sounds filthy!
Anyway, when I'm ready for a road trip, I'll tell you.
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But never mind that! The horse. It's a work in progress plan, so it'll be a while, but it's definitely going to happen! I made a deal with this guy Dave, see? And he's going to help me out. It'll happen. It's just going to take some time.
[These words are said with conviction, not at all like some poor sap being extorted for money and begging for another 24 hours, they'll get the money, they swear, please don't hurt their family. But she doesn't really want to go into the full details of the plan either, because the time it takes involves getting somewhere, scrounging up enough cash, keeping an egg warm, and rearing the Pokemon from birth. Who knows when it'll happen, but Dave said it'll happen, and she believes in him.]
Serious question though: what do you think about goats?
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[Huh. That's not exactly promising. Now there's some Dave guy involved....wait. Dave. Was that the kid on the net that went back and forth with him about robots? Funny guy. Okay. He'll keep an eye on how this develops.]
So now Dave is getting the horse? Delegation, okay, I can't really fault you for that... But you gotta be careful, kiddo. Delegating to trusted underlings can be a fun and stress free solution to actually doing physical work, but putting your trust in 'this guy Dave' can lead to major screwage.
[And now she wants to talk about goats. What the hell goes on in this kid's head?]
They taste pretty good in curry when they're little? I don't know, I don't spend much time thinking about goats.
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No way! Fancy brand names just make things more expensive! I've gotta be able to buy these things in bulk, you know! Like cup noodles and stuff, if I'm paying extra, it's got to have something worth it inside, like dried shrimp, or extra chicken!
[You don't understand what it's like to live a life of poverty!! Mafuyu shakes her head.]
But forget about that. Forget about Dave too. He's my friend, and in a better position than me to get one right now, so I'm trusting it to him. He hasn't asked anything from me yet. Anyways-- goats. I was wondering maybe you can ride one of these.
[It's a Skiddo. Not a Pokemon she had on hand before, and not a Pokemon she caught herself either. Also not a Pokemon you can ride on as it barely comes past the knees.]
When it gets bigger, anyways. I got a buncha Pokemon transferred to me a few days ago, but I don't think I can use 'em.
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[Ride it? No, he'd really rather hand it over to his chef. It even came with its own garnish! But he holds up a finger and accesses the 'dex. There's the stupid looking thing. It's like it jumped right out of a kiddie picture book about an enchanted forest. But it's evolution....]
[Could be worse.]
Theoretically, yes, the evolved form of that thing can be ridden. But it's not a horse. Or on fire. So I'm not sure why I'd want to...
The horns are pretty cool, but they're facing the wrong way to stab anything. But I bet I could get some horn tips made up, cool metal ones, loop'em around so they stick out in front... Yeah, there's some potential here.
Send'em to me! I got a nice house they can live in, little pokey friends for'em... Uncle Jack'll give'em a good home.
[Well, a home, anyway.]
no subject
[She pats the Skiddo on the head, relaying parts of Jack's message to it ("he says you're cool"), but sending them over makes her frown a little. She promised him strong Pokemon. It didn't feel right throwing at him the ones she couldn't handle; she'd get them to listen to her, fight matches for her, be the best Pokemon they can be. She can't hand over anything less than that.]
That's where the problem is though. This Pokemon here's nice and calm because it's weak. But one of the others... well.
[She holds up a forearm for him to see, a short but deep gash down the length of it, held together by stitches given by the local Pokemon center. After releasing that Pokemon, Mafuyu never touched any of the others, leaving the rest in the PC.]
I heard you'll need badges to get the stronger ones to listen if you didn't catch 'em yourself. There's a badge place in Goldenrod, isn't there? 'course there is; everything's in Goldenrod. You'll need a badge before I can get you anything.
no subject
There's a Gym here in Goldenrod. But I need stronger Pokemon to beat the Gym leaders and get the badge I apparently need to get stronger Pokemon and holy nutballs this system is ludicrous!
[Who the hell implemented anything on this planet? What utter slag brained, stillborn, gibbering morons had put together this system?]
It's cute you're worried, it really is cupcake. But I can handle them just fine without some shiny trophy.
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[Like why would he even make that point, it doesn't mean anything to her. She's sure he can handle them, but Pokemon aren't like hoodlums you can beat up and they end up following you out of admiration for your strength-- Pokemon spit fire and uproot trees and crush bone and she's going to make this system work.]
I'm going to train them myself. I'm going to get badges. I'm going to make them listen to me, and you, and everyone. But I'm not giving you my Pokemon or anyone else's until you get badges. I don't wanna get to Goldenrod finally and find you dead 'cause of me.
[But it's no problem, because has no doubts he'll get the badge.] Boner can do it, I'm sure he can. How is he? Still cute?
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You're such a stubborn little thing, pumpkin. Too much of that's not attractive, you read me? I can promise you, I am not going to be killed by a friggin' Pokemon. Not gonna happen.
He's still fat. I dunno what I'm doing wrong. He's on diet chow, I take him running with me but he just lies down for a nap ten minutes in, I dunno., I tried tying him to the back of my bike but he could not keep up so...so that didn't work.
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You just gotta encourage him! Like "good boy!" and "lookin' good, Boner!" and "yeah! look at you runnin' five meters, I'm so proud of you!!" Pat him on the head or something. Praise him a lot, and he'll do anything for you!
[She has experience in this, you know? Just. Not on the trainer side of things.]
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I encourage him plenty. It's more along the 'do this and I won't punish you' kind, but...same basic idea. I'm not coddling my attack animals.
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[But it's true no one else has given her much thought like Jack does, just casual acquaintances or people she's met once and then left in her single-minded endeavor to reach Goldenrod.]
Have you been battling? It's more fun that running around going nowhere, and there's lots of opportunities for "good job"s there!
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No, not for Doom Boner there isn't. The badass flames were a lie. He sucks at battles. My cat thing's better. No wonder his owner wanted to get rid of him. That really should have been warning sign, in hindsight. I thought he'd beaten up the other ones, not just...sat on them.
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[End of discussion, she's not going to talk about this anymore, if she talks about it anymore then she'll probably slip up somewhere and this whole being normal thing she's been practicing all school year will all go to waste.]
Anyways... Have Cat battle some, and Boney can watch. He can learn by watching too, that's how I learned.
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You're talking to your old pal Jack here! Spill. What's your story? We'll talk training strategy after.
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I'm not going to do it anymore, so it doesn't matter! The past is the past! I'm done with that life, and what matters is the here! and now!! Otherwise my mom'sgoingtokillme.
[Like, literally kill. With a meat cleaver. It almost happened once.]
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Your mom's not even here. I am. And I'm not gonna kill you. How'd I get my stabby goat and my fire horse if I did that?
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[She hates lying, and she's terrible at keeping secrets. But this is one thing she doesn't want anybody else to hear, whether it's someone illegally tapping into the phone lines or a stranger passing by and eavesdropping on their conversation.]
I'll tell you later! In person, okay? When we meet in person. [That way, if someone sneaks up on them to listen in, she can catch them and beat them until they can no longer walk or speak or spread the word.]
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[Yeah, he's got to know. What has he found himself here? He's pretty sure it's something good. The universe just loves him like that.]
Alright, I can appreciate observing security protocol. Sensitive info doesn't go over the unsecured net, I get it.
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Good. That's why you're my friend, Jack! 'Cause friends trust each other like that!
[Not to the extent of knowing each other's deepest darkest secrets, but enough that she can even consider sharing it.]
Don't worry though, it's nothing that'll affect anything I'm doing here or now. It shouldn't ever be a problem as long as there's no one here I know.
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How're the roads looking, anyway? One of the ones out of Goldenrod's been cleared, according to the rumor mill. And weren't there a couple of guys offering rides between towns last week or something? The public channel's filled with so much boring, pointless crap I...I start glazing over when I'm checking in.
no subject
[To be proud of an accomplishment at this level is sort of sad, but it's been WEEKS. And this close to cabin fever even in the great outdoors confined to half a route and a town with nothing but a few houses with a mom you aren't welcomed home by.]
There were flowers everywhere and I couldn't stop sneezing, it was terrible. The next route's a buncha trees and stuff all uprooted, so I've been trying to climb over them where the ground's not sunken in. If it's like this everywhere, I think it's better you get a plane, not a horse.
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No planes, pumpkin. Bike or pokemon are the only options. There's Pokemon that fly, though, we should look into those. But hey, you're gonna be in great shape by the time you finally make it here!
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